swirling tides

you know that feeling you get when life is changing? 
it's like standing in the middle of a river. 
you can feel the current pushing you forward... or you can fight it and try and walk upstream. 
(i don't usually recommend the latter)
i have this theory:
life is going to work out.


i get so caught up in the fast-paced lifestyle... that i forget to stop and smell the roses that are blooming all around my house...

i keep thinking that everything has to be done NOW!
there is no time to breathe. to think. to do anything other than stress about life.
but you know what?
it's all going to be ok.
so sit back. 
breathe.








i have a slight obsession with this song.
:)

the garden. 
my mom didn't get the memo that slavery was abolished...
at least it gives me something to do while i am looking for a job. (any takers?) my dad says that i have "slave labor" written on my forehead. 


speaking of change, my mom talked me into doing a diet... (shhh! you can't tell anyone...)
being an exercise physiology major, i personally find all of these things fascinating... so i am considering this more "research". 
it's all about becoming "leptin sensitive"
so what is leptin you ask?
it is a protein hormone that plays a "key role in regulating energy intake and energy expenditure, including appetite and metabolism." thank you wikipedia for that flash of inspiration...
basically. if you are "leptin sensitive", you don't get hungry. it's a natural appetite suppressant. 

basically... the mouse on the left is you without leptin.

i'm kidding.

there are 5 basic rules to this "leptin reset"

(the foodie in me died a little when i read this.)

rule 1:  never eat after dinner.  

rule 2:  eat three meals a day.  

rule 3:  do not eat large meals.  

rule 4:  eat a breakfast containing protein. 

rule 5:  reduce the amount of carbohydrates eaten.

if you want to read more in-depth about these rules see here.

what i've learned is that WHEN you eat is much more important than WHAT you eat. (this is only partially true... but you will need to do a little research on your own from here on out.)

suffice it to say, when i get munchy around 9:00 every night, the rest of the family packs up and leaves the room. ;)

the basic way of eating follows the paleo-diet. if you've never heard about it, just think caveman. if you didn't have a wal-mart down the street, and instead lived a million years ago, what would you be eating?

and then you eat it. 

and ONLY that.

which is all fine and dandy until you drive past the chinese buffet... 

self control might need to undergo an overhaul as well...

so we're still in the intial stages of this "experiment".

i'll keep you updated.

only 4 more weeks to go...

--------------------

if you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. 

for where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained.

keep adding, 

keep walking, 

keep advancing.

saint augustine

hmmmm.

a haiku (from a friend)

I’ve come to hate boys

You know what’s underrated?

Owning lots of cats

You Are Tired (I Think)
You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.
Come with me, then,
And we’ll leave it far and far away—
(Only you and I, understand!)
You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.
But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—
Open to me!
For I will show you the places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.
Ah, come with me!
I’ll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I’ll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probable stars;
I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.

— E.E. Cummings

everything's gonna be ok.

ready or not... life here i come!

i need some chill music right now.

this is just one of those days when life just seems to press down on you from all sides.

you know?

the feeling that you have to make a decision, but the stress alone threatens to incapacitate you...

i'm feeling that way about grad school right now.

(lame right?)

scared out of my wits.

the future is a scarrrrry place.

do i really have to grow up?

not that i don't have a plan for my life,

i just don't know what to do with the 5 different plans that i have. (i'm the type of person that has the plan, the backup plan, the backup-backup plan... you get the picture. i don't believe in failure.) 

the problem with that is that sometimes i don't make a decision because i'm afraid that it won't work out.

so while sitting in class, plotting out my life (for about the gazillion-th time this semester) i came to a conclusion:

life is gonna happen.

no matter what i decide to do, the rest of the world is going to continue to spin, and everyone else is going to keep going on with their regular day-to-day lives.

so what am i going to do about it?

two words.

no.

fear.

imagine me gritting my teeth and attempting very hard to look like a very menacing individual...

you ready mr. future???

{cuz you gotta deal with THIS!}

:)

so no matter what happens, i'm going to give life my 100%.

i know it's cliche, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and the worst thing that can happen is that they say no.

well what do you do when they do say no?

time for plan b.

and then plan c.

plan d?

you keep tryin' stuff until something works!
(and by george something will!)

so here is to all of the plans, and the backup plans...

but never give up!

(that's the only time that i believe that failure exists. when you decide that you aren't going to try anymore.)

so we are making a pact.

right now.

you and me.

to never

ever

ever

ever

ever

ever

ever

ever

ever

ever

ever

ever

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

give up!

(pinkie swear.)

alright.

good luck!

now for some light-hearted kicks and giggles:

(i was in my exercise physiology class, and i got this brainy idea that i wanted to develop my own line of energy bars... so i started doing a little research. and this is what i found.)

scooby snack protein bars

scooby poo bars 

(i didn't come up with the name...)

th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks!

me want fooooooood!

here we are, two days into the semester.
so far we haven't died! so i guess this is a good thing...

as with every semester, there are always the new (school) year resolutions, the awkward times that you are talking to your new roommates and there is that prolonged silence when neither of you can think of what to say............... and as always, a bit of soul-searching.
who am i?
why am i here?
is this really what i want to be doing for the rest of my life?

or better yet...
am i going to be able to handle this all without going completely crazy?
and finally:
why aren't there any cute guys in my classes? (ha ha ha... but seriously!)

life is finally starting to settle down again. i'm moved in, but unpacking will probably be occurring in stages over the next few days... in the meantime, i am excited that i only have two more semesters until i graduate! are you sure that i am ready to be thrown out into the real world? there are some days when i really feel like i just got out of high school. i mean, i'm actually in college??? weird.

i know that you really missed all of my cooking escapades this summer.
i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
and with a vengence. muahahaha!

i haven't tried these yet, but they are the next on my list of cooking to-dos.

indian summer stew

flourless peach yogurt tart

(going to that class a few weeks ago really opened my eyes to all of the things that you can make without flour... i sense a new obsession coming on.)

panzanella

cucumber and tomato salad with cubed foccacia bread.

yum. 

i actually just think that i am super hungry right now, cuz everything i'm looking at is sounding especially delicious. i guess i could go on posting pictures, but that might end up getting a little ridiculous. 

but it is definitely time for bed. 

nite all!

time's a-wastin'!

we were given a list of items that we had to see in jerusalem before the end of the semester.

i think that we are an experimental group... but it really has made me get out and go see things, so i really can't hold it against brother chadwick at all... (chadwick is my ancient near eastern studies teacher and pretty much the bomb.)

yesterday we went and stormed the ramparts of jerusalem.

well... technically only half of them. but we were bushed by the time we got done, so we decided to call it a day and head on home. 

aren't the green pants amazing though?
they are pretty much my new fav.

this is a view of dormition abbey (between the palm fronds there...)

i still find it surprising to look out over the city and see satellite dishes all over the place... call me weird, but it doesn't exactly fit into the paradigm that i had always had about the Holy City... ;)


other adventures of the day:
i had schwarma.
this is definitely happening when i get home. 
and falafel was for lunch!
i thought before i came that i was going to miss being able to cook all the time. as it turns out, i don't really have enough free time to miss it. any time that i have extra is spent playing volleyball, basketball, doing homework (hahaha that's a funny one...) or running all over the city. nope... i don't really miss it.


i have decided one thing though: i waste too much time. 
this experience (if it has taught me one thing... and of course i can't say that because it has taught me SO much!) has taught me that i suck at managing my time. and that i can be so much more productive if i were to just push myself and plan a little bit better.
then again... thinking about my classes next semester is beginning to scare me. i don't think that i'm going to have much time anyway. so i guess we'll see!

--------------------------------------

i love exploring!

i want a fedora, whip, and a cool explorer-friendly name so that i can really get into the spirit of climbing into tombs!

(yes, we did visit some tombs today, 

and yes,

it was amazing.)