swirling tides

you know that feeling you get when life is changing? 
it's like standing in the middle of a river. 
you can feel the current pushing you forward... or you can fight it and try and walk upstream. 
(i don't usually recommend the latter)
i have this theory:
life is going to work out.


i get so caught up in the fast-paced lifestyle... that i forget to stop and smell the roses that are blooming all around my house...

i keep thinking that everything has to be done NOW!
there is no time to breathe. to think. to do anything other than stress about life.
but you know what?
it's all going to be ok.
so sit back. 
breathe.








i have a slight obsession with this song.
:)

the garden. 
my mom didn't get the memo that slavery was abolished...
at least it gives me something to do while i am looking for a job. (any takers?) my dad says that i have "slave labor" written on my forehead. 


speaking of change, my mom talked me into doing a diet... (shhh! you can't tell anyone...)
being an exercise physiology major, i personally find all of these things fascinating... so i am considering this more "research". 
it's all about becoming "leptin sensitive"
so what is leptin you ask?
it is a protein hormone that plays a "key role in regulating energy intake and energy expenditure, including appetite and metabolism." thank you wikipedia for that flash of inspiration...
basically. if you are "leptin sensitive", you don't get hungry. it's a natural appetite suppressant. 

basically... the mouse on the left is you without leptin.

i'm kidding.

there are 5 basic rules to this "leptin reset"

(the foodie in me died a little when i read this.)

rule 1:  never eat after dinner.  

rule 2:  eat three meals a day.  

rule 3:  do not eat large meals.  

rule 4:  eat a breakfast containing protein. 

rule 5:  reduce the amount of carbohydrates eaten.

if you want to read more in-depth about these rules see here.

what i've learned is that WHEN you eat is much more important than WHAT you eat. (this is only partially true... but you will need to do a little research on your own from here on out.)

suffice it to say, when i get munchy around 9:00 every night, the rest of the family packs up and leaves the room. ;)

the basic way of eating follows the paleo-diet. if you've never heard about it, just think caveman. if you didn't have a wal-mart down the street, and instead lived a million years ago, what would you be eating?

and then you eat it. 

and ONLY that.

which is all fine and dandy until you drive past the chinese buffet... 

self control might need to undergo an overhaul as well...

so we're still in the intial stages of this "experiment".

i'll keep you updated.

only 4 more weeks to go...

--------------------

if you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. 

for where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained.

keep adding, 

keep walking, 

keep advancing.

saint augustine

grab and hold on for dear life.

how is everyone out there in the world?
having a fantastic day yet?

i think i am.
...not to mention i had the most amazint parfait for breakfast this morning.

this is just a thought on life that i have been having recently.
everything happens for a reason. 
(even looking for a job, and not getting anything!)
or applying to a program and not getting accepted.
it doesn't mean that you are a failure.
it just isn't the right time.
     or you are meant to do something else.

something that i've been learning is that i need to be more proactive.
i'm the kind of person that would like to believe in fate, but then i go taking it to the extreme and just expecting life to come handed to me on a silver platter.
(i've learned a very important secret)
it doesn't happen like that!
if you want anything to happen, you have to go out there and get it!
because you can do anything you want to.

this is a little blast from the past.
you gotta have some of these every once in a while.

now you have to go and try this.

i think that vanilla wafers are underrated.

set a new goal and dream a new dream

day 13.


i am most definitely a "list person"
if you look through any of my stuff... my backpack, purse, even pockets - and you are going to find lists.

• shopping lists
• christmas present lists
• goal lists
• fun-things-to-do-lists
• to-do lists
• to-be lists (This quote from from Lynn G. Robbins is my favorite - probably because it speaks directly to the list-maker in me): Many of us create to do lists to remind us of things we want to accomplish. But people rarely have to be lists. Why? To do’s are activities or events that can be checked off the list when done. To be, however, is never done. You can’t earn checkmarks with to be’s. I can take my wife out for a lovely evening this Friday, which is a to do. But being a good husband is not an event; it needs to be part of my nature—my character, or who I am.
• lists of places to go
• lists of things to cook
• lists of things to make
• lists of things i want to buy when i have money, when i graduate from college, buy a house of my own...

i basically make a list for everything. (seeing the lists my mom makes, i think i know where i got it from...)

so you would think that coming up with a "goal list" would be easy right?

wrong.

i have so many, it is almost impossible (finding) and condensing them all into a single list.

so here's the short, and highly incomplete goals list:

• go on a road trip
• bike down the oregon coast
• graduate from college
• get accepted to grad school (which implies that i have to apply... sometime soon...)
• cut my own hair. 
• do something that scares me every day. 
• get down to 155
• run a 10k. then a half marathon.
• when i graduate, be able to fit all of my belongings into my civic. (i'm gonna dieeeee!)
• buy a car of my own
• get a job
• purge my recipes. get rid of all of the unhealthy temptations that i will make and then regret ever looking at. 

i was reading about "effective goal setting" and it says that in order to be the most effective, a goal has to be time sensitive. i mean, how often do i set goals and then forget about them because i'm in no hurry to get them finished? a lot. pretty much. so this is a list that i want to finish before december 31, 2012.

A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.

Bruce Lee

facial hair is not one of my goals.

this pic is just too epic not to share with y'all.

and if i've never told you all about the awesome-ness of being an amazon woman, you are missing out.

this might redeem myself.

my favorite???

does it take longer for you to shave your legs?

almost halfway.

four tests in a week???

i swear my teachers are colluding against me.

"oh yeah - killing jess sounds like fun!"

"sweet let's do it!"

ugh.

especially that hot guy in class.

yesssss please!

not all fairy tales turn out the way we think huh?

i'm going to admit it.

i have an obsession with pinterest.

it's baaaaaad.

(but oh so gooooood at the same time!)

you get my meaning?

one of my recent finds...

pumpkin pie shake!

for those who live in the frozen tundra (loving called iceburg rexburg) we have this amazing restaurant called sammy's.

their pumpkin pie shakes?

to diiiiiiiiie for.

especially when you get a piece of crust that survived the blender.

oh heavens... i might just die and go to heaven thinking about it!

anywho, in anticipation for one of my four favorite seasons of the entire year... a recipe! for pure deliciousness.

Pumpkin Pie Shake

vegan, serves 2-3

(random side-note: i've always wondered what it would be like to be vegan or vegetarian... you'll probably be hearing more about this later.)

15 ounces organic canned pumpkin - 1 can (not pie mix)

1/4 cup raw cashews

1/4 cup non-dairy milk, vanilla (soy or hemp preferred)

2 tbsp maple syrup

1/4 cup vegan chai tea concentrate

2 tbsp soy milk creamer

2 dashes cinnamon

1 dash cayenne

2 dashes nutmeg

pinch of salt

1 1/2 cups ice (coconut water ice cubes approved for this pie shake)

optional: 1/2 frozen banana, pinch of flax seed oil/meal for added nutrition

directions:

1. add all your ingredients, except the ice, to the blender.

2. blend on high until smooth. yes the pumpkin will make this smoothie thick, so be patientwhile blending. if you need to add more 'milk' go ahead.

3. keep blending and slowly add in the ice. make sure it blends icy-smooth! again, if you need to add a bit more liquid, do it gradually. you can always do a taste test before pouring and modify as needed to suit your own tastes. i added in a few extra cashews because I liked the body and flavor that they added.

4. pour, sprinkle with cinnamon on top. whipped rice cream-optional, but yummy.

serve! delicious any time of day. dessert-friendly.

and yes, it will taste like pumpkin pie! 

bold... beautiful pumpkin flavor. 

notes and alterations:

table for One? just making this smoothie for yourself? you can easily halve the ingredients for a nice sized smoothie for 1.

creamier? if you want to turn up the 'creaminess' a notch, add in a bit more soy cream, non-dairy milk and even a spray of whipped cream blended right into the blender.

dessert please! you can easily make this into a delicious pumpkin-ice-cream style shake by removing 1 cup of ice from the recipe and replacing it with a big scoop of vegan soy/hemp/coconut/rice cream. vanilla flavor of course.

perfectly pumpkin: feeling super adventurous and cringe at 'canned veggies'. well OK, grab a 'pie pumpkin' roast it, puree it and chill the pumpkin puree in the fridge. use it in place of canned!

ready?

set?

go do it!

(and tell me what you think.)

***

today is one of those days that i am so grateful to have a wonderful family.

simply because my sister makes me dinner when i am pushing to get a homework assignment done on time.

she's pretty much the bomb.com.

and even though i missed my mom's 4 phone calls, i still know that she loves me enough to call. 

even though i'm in class.

and my brother telling me about an acronym that his 8th grade teacher taught him to remember the first presidents of the united states. do i remember them? no. but i sure appreciated him telling me!

just keep swimming.

i am not the type of person that goes broadcasting when i have bad days. usually, only those people really close to me are "privileged" enough to see that side of me. everyone else just sees the happy, smiling, bubbly person.
(today was a not-so-fantastic day)
just one of those days that you muddle through. 
one of those days when nothing feels good.
one of those days when you feel stuck. and unproductive...
one of those days that your bed is the only place in the whole wide world that you want to go, and yet it is the last place that you can be. because you are running in about a gajillion other directions. (yup. that was me today.)


so, in honor of those no-so-stellar days: 
http://youtu.be/gH476CxJxfg

i have a new obsession.
now i just have to figure out how to make them. (and possibly learn how to knit in the process...)


i am super ready for fall baking!!!
i love the smells, the tastes, the colors... pretty much everything except for the wind. (i can actually handle the cold. even in a wasteland such as rexburg. it's just the cold. i swear it seeps into your very soul...)
here is a perfect (and potentially healthy) snack to get you into the fall mood:

{yum.}

{Pumpkin Pie Dip} (from skinnytaste.com via pinterest)

• 15 oz can pumpkin
• 3/4 cup brown sugar (Splenda would work too)
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/8 tsp cinnamon
• 1/8 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or more to taste)
• 6 oz fat free Greek yogurt
• 8 oz cool whip free
• cut up apples to dip (extra points)

Mix pumpkin with brown sugar, vanilla and spices, blend well. Mix in yogurt. Fold in cool whip and chill in refrigerator until ready to eat.
Makes about 6 cups.

tomorrow's gonna be a good one.
i can just feel it. :)

***
May you live all the days of your life.
Jonathan Swift

reading and grilled cheese. two of my favs.

i really think that i had forgotten how hard {wednesdays} were.
today has been brutal! (good luck i don't have a lot of homework or i would be pretty much toast...)

i know i talked about the soul-searching aspect that always seems to accompany the beginning of each new semester, but some people can say it so much better than i can.

pictures from 365q.ca

so i am a pretty big quote geek. back at home, i have quote books from high school, i copy quotes and keep them on my computer, i type them in my phone and send them to myself so that i don't forget them... i love reading what people that are much wiser than me have to say about the world.
the last quote has always confused me. not that i didn't understand what it was supposed to mean, i knew what it was saying, i just didn't get it. i do now. having lived in a different country for even three months - leaving my family, having to fend for myself (ie not blow all the money that i had), meeting tons of new people was all part of an amazing adventure.
but coming home was special.
i don't know if i can quite explain it adequately, but it was an eye-opening experience to come home and see how blessed i am. and how often i take all of those blessings for granted.
like going for a walk by myself.
wearing shorts.
sitting on the grass under a crystal clear sky.
hearing my younger brothers fight. because i am with my family.
having to run errands for my mom, but getting to drive around in my car.
cooking!
sharing my beliefs with others.
having so many clothes that i don't know what to do with them anymore...


on another note, i read something really cool from this awesome blog - i love reading it... it always makes me laugh.
it also made me feel justified in bringing home six books from the library today... (i have no idea when i'm going to read them - but don't judge me! i couldn't put them back!!!)

-------------------

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but...she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.


***
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
***
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.
-- Rosemary Urquico

:)

and it this weren't random enough already, we have to speak of food! the world would probably explode if i didn't...
this looks pretty much like the ultimate in grilled cheese.
i can almost feel my arteries clogging up looking at it, but it looks so good! 

and finally! 

a homemade solar oven to cook s'mores. 

{genius.}

a free day

this was my day in pictures:

 las chicas!

chris, sam, morgan, me and nessa at haram al-sharif (or the temple mount) 

the bells of the ymca tower

we got to play them!

i plan to.

you wanna know somethin funny?

these pictures in NO WAY depict how hot it is here.

there are days when i just want to rip of my shirt and run through the sprinklers.

can i?

no.

would i?

hmmmm... tempting thought.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"write while the heat is in you. the writer who postpones the recording of his thoughts uses an iron which has cooled to burn a hole with. he cannot inflame the minds of his audience."

{henry david thoreau}

feeling inflamed yet?

;)

the question of the day is: if you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

{stephen wright}

hahaha.

what did you do today? i met a dead guy.

there are days when technology really bugs me.
especially when i want to get things done.
like, say, when i actually have time to get on an blog... and blogger decides to not work?
not really a fan.
so this will be short, sweet, and then i can go play some sardines. k? k.

i told you went went and explored some tombs...

we totally climbed in bed with a dead guy.

kinda creepy right?

 and yet... i still did it in a white shirt.

this is my buddy joshua...

he's pretty much amazing, but you could already tell that from the picture! ;)

and whosoever shall be found

without the soul for getting down

must stand and face the hounds of hell

and rot inside a corpse's shell. 

the foulest stench is in the air 

the funk of 40,000 years 

and grizzy ghouls from every tomb 

are closing in to seal your doom 

and though you fight to stay alive 

your body starts to shiver 

for no mere mortal can resist 

the evil of the thriller!

ok, so now you know all of the fun stuff that i have been doing.
now for the not-so-fun stuff:
1. school (even though it is amazing) kicked my trash yesterday. we had 7 hours of class, and we couldn't leave the center.
2. the reason we couldn't leave the center is because of nakba. nakba is the palestinian "day of catastrophe"...  it is their "anti-holiday" to the isreali independence day. so we haven't been allowed to leave the center because there have been riots in the city for the past few days leading up to it. [don't freak out mom... they were expecting something, so they were good and warned us a few days ago that we might be stuck inside this weekend.]
nakba is actually tomorrow, which actually coincides well with our trip to turkey!!!


so even though those things are less-than-fun... it's all part of the amazing experience! i have enjoyed (which doesn't seem like an adequate word to describe how i feel about everything) every. single. second. and i plan on loving a whole lot more before i come home! 

--------------------------------------------

to travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive. 

~ robert louis stevenson ~

what do you do when you find a random nest-shaped hole in the ground?

you pretend to be baby birds of course!

i couldn't quite figure out how to pull off a baby-bird face...

this is seeming to go on forever, but for my thrifty friends back home: (we are totally going to DI when i get back!!!)

ready. set. and i'm still here...

so the camera is still m.i.a.
this is a problem.
so i have been reduced to taking pictures with my ipod... conveniently though, it automatically uploads them to flickr... so you want to know what i did today? i made those blasted cupcakes. not quite as pretty as the other ones... but considering i was lazy and did not want to pipe them all with frosting, i think they look alright. (alright alright... so the picture quality sucks... but until i buy a new camera my options are limited!!!) 

i just have to say, reese's are the bomb.

i mean chocolate and peanut butter??? there is no better combination on the face of this earth. no, not even audrey hepburn and cary grant.

or rock hudson and doris day. 

nope. i would take peanut butter and chocolate any day of the week. 

i discovered something yesterday. 

i have been working on developing my sense of "style," something that i lacked desperately basically until, pretty much last year. but i have been slowly, ever so slowly, working at it! part of my regime involves massive amounts of blog-stalking... well, i would feel bad, but i figure that's the whole reason why you put a blog up right? (if they didn't want it read they wouldn't put it up. right?) i feel like i get to know these people. like i'm their best friend or something. but what would happen if i actually met them one day? awkward... so i read your blog like every. day. no seriously. you are like my favorite person on the entire planet! i know everything about you! yeah. not so cool. 

but back to the style. 

i discovered lookbooks. (don't judge.) i had no idea what these troves of knowledge contained!

one of my best friends used to buy magazines and look at them, and i would just sit there and think what a waste of money! it is just pictures of sickly skinny women being super duper immodest. well... i still think that. but since i don't really want to look like i just stepped out of the 90s... and i don't like finding out things are "fashionable" and just getting the tail end of the hype, i figured i would educate myself. there are other ones... but i found way too much pleasure looking at this one yesterday. i just had to share it! 

one of my favorite blogs is smartprettyandawkward. if anyone needs this, it most definitely has to be me!

but i love how every post, she gives me some jewel of knowledge (and sometimes fashion tips... huzzah!) that pretty much changes my life. a few days ago she put the quote, 

"there comes a moment when you have to stop revving up the car and shove it into gear." {david mahoney}

i feel like i have been revving my engine for the past few months. maybe it is just the feeling that has been building over the course of my entire life, but i am only beginning to become aware of it now.

i can feel the pressure of life building, and i know that it is going to happen soon.

and it's kinda scary! 

so in my random searching of the internet (after i finished my homework... have a little faith! please!) 

i found this. 

5 tips to stay positive: (remember to check out the movie...)

“one day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” ~sigmund freud

we all have those days when we’d really rather sleep in all day and hide from the world – whether it’s a bad breakup or a challenge at work, or simply feeling burnt out. the bright side to those days often arrives with a phone call from a friend, or a card in the mail, with some words of encouragement.

according to a recent article by cancy gottesman in the april 2011 issue of ‘o, the oprah magazine’, science has shown there is a powerful link between emotional outlook and physical health. “when it comes to our health,” says martin seligman, PhD, one of the preeminent experts in the field of positive psychology, “there are essentially four things under our control: the decision not to smoke, a commitment to exercise, the quality of our diet, and our level of optimism. and optimism is at least as beneficial as the others.”

“the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” ~ eckhart tolle

so how do you help yourself or a friend stay positive even when everything feels like it’s falling apart?

we recently came across an article by misty belardo, with the following five simple and very ‘do-able’ tips to stay positive:

1. never dwell on a mistake – forgive yourself and learn from the mistake. dwelling on your mistake will only add to the stress and make you more unproductive.

2. always look on the bright side of every situation – is the cup half full or is it half empty? it boils down to a person’s attitude and outlook on life.

3. today is not the end of the world – tomorrow is a new day. there will be new hopes and new challenges that you need to conquer.

4. surround yourself with people who will encourage you – those people can be your source of guidance, your source of inspiration and your source of hope.

5. convert challenges into possibilities – ….like in the number 2 tip above, there is always an opportunity to learn from that problem. it is an experience that one day may help others who have been in the same situation as you have been.

you can commit to these now, or keep them in your pocket for a rainy day. you can also keep them on hand to share with your friends when they need a little friendly boost.

and here are four things we ‘encourage’ you to do:

1) play your favorite music, and focus your mind on goals you’re excited about accomplishing.

2) send a card to a friend.

3) read the full article by misty belardo and nancy gottesman’s article “Are Happy People Healthier? New Reasons to Stay Positive“.

4) watch this video. it’s guaranteed to make you smile!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

sunshine.

:)