the magic formula for happiness.

do you ever feel like me, and you finally get sick of all the worry and stress... and you just sit down and decide, not to give up, but to just enjoy life for a second?

there are far too many reasons not to love life.

today i decided that biochemistry was far too stressful, and that i needed to sit still and just STOP WORRYING for one afternoon. while surfing netflix, i found the "happy" movie.

what makes you happy? 

when it comes down to it, a lot of things make me happy.

(i'm quite easy to entertain, actually...)

1. cuddling on the couch makes me happy. 

2. a hot cup of tea with a good book.

3. buying something random. especially from the dollar store.

4. fuzzy things.

5. feeling healthy.

6. learning stuff.

7. getting tips at work.

8. having someone remember your name.

9. inventing something for dinner that actually turns out. 

10. compliments. especially from strangers.

11. starting something new. a cause.

12. fruit.

13. having a clean room. (is it just me, or does having your room organized just make it feel like the rest of your life will just fall into place?)

14. finishing something.

15. sunsets.

16. holidays.

17. pinterest. and even better than pinterest: having someone ask you if you found something cute on pinterest, and saying "heck no! this was 100% jess!!!

18. having my toes painted and

19. having time to wake up in the morning and feeling drop-dead gorgeous when i walk out the door.

20. spending time with my family.

what did i learn from the happy movie?

life changes so quickly. unless we are truly happy and content with the person we are right now, we will be chasing an idea for the rest of our lives. 

we can choose to be happy.

accepting yourself completely comes as a part of the healing process.

there is no such thing as pleasure without pain.

"what do you want in life? to be successful, to be happy, and to live a long, healthy life."

what is it to be successful? and at what cost?

there is a lot of talk about a "toxic lifestyle" - the way that we live, trying to be more successful, and earn more money, and be more... just more.

i think it's time that we slowed things down.

take some time to sit down and read a book without feeling like you are wasting time.

i don't like to get too deep on my innermost thoughts here... but i had a thought the other day. i had basically failed a biochemistry test, and was thinking that my life was pretty much over because i need that class to get into grad school. 

so i called my mom. (aren't they just great? especially when the world seems like it is coming to an end.)

and after i told her how my life was ending, and feeling dejected, inadequate, and completely stupid, she just said, "it's gonna be ok."

is it bizarre that my whole day changed after that little comment? 

so grad school might have to wait a little while, but does that really mean my life is over???

no.

so when you are feeling like the world is ending, just think to yourself: it is going to be ok.

until there is an alien invasion, or an asteroid hurtling directly towards earth, i think that i'm going to keep moving on, keep moving forward, and just be happy.

even then, who knows?

:)

***

on a different note, this is my newest obsession/phase.

for the next 30 days, i doing the whole30 challenge!

find out more here.

taking liberties in the kitchen.

i keep hearing this sound lately.
it sounds a lot like a woooooooosh...! 
and then i realize that it is life. as it goes rushing by. 
i remember when i was a kid, and the school year seemed to go by. soooooo slowly. what happened???
we're already a month into school, and i barely feel like i've even gotten settled in.
it's times like these that i realize that if i don't start DOING something, the whole semester is going to go by and i won't have done any of the things that i wanted to! 
so my list of pre-planned adventures for the rest of the semester:
     go on a hike
     watch a sunrise
     have brunch before church (since it starts at 2!)
     have a very merry unbirthday tea-party! 
     have a pie social, potluck, waffle party... basically any party with food involved. especially fall foods.
     go to the dunes and have a bonfire
     train for a half marathon. (this will be tricky since i barely have time to do my homework... let alone run!)
     keep my room clean. ha.
     read a book a week. (or maybe every other...)
     stop procrastinating. 
that being said... i'll make this short. :)


my sister and i wanted to make these:

and we kinda did. but not really.

i have this problem with following recipes. if i don't have something, i will either leave it out or stick something else in. sometimes this is good... other times not so much. (honey and sugar don't make an adequate brown sugar substitute in cookies. just sayin.) 

we didn't have any brown rice.

did that stop us?

nope.

this ended up being more of a throw-whatever-we-have-available-in-the-fridge type of recipe... but we were both HUGE fans. definitely gonna make it again. 

here's the real recipe. 

this is what we did. 

2 large green bell peppers, bottom trimmed, cap end cut off and diced, and seeds removed
1/2 large onion, diced
1/2 lb. ground beef

1/2 leftover yellow bell pepper in the fridge

2 jalapeno peppers

1 eggplant (it was headed downhill and needed to be used!)

1 tomato

1-2 cups shredded cabbage

salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

(i'm pretty sure we threw in some chili powder and red pepper flakes in there somewhere...)
1/4 cup grated mozzarella cheese

preheat oven to 375F. trim bottom of bell peppers so they have a flat surface to stand on. cut off a fairly generous amount of the stem end of peppers, then remove seeds. (our bell peppers were monsters!) place hollowed-out peppers in a baking dish that you've sprayed with non-stick spray or olive oil.

remove stem part from the pepper caps and trim off any white membrane, then dice pepper caps and the onion into fairly small dice. cook hamburger until done, add whatever spices you suit your fancy, then add in onions (and in our case eggplant) and cook until tender. then add in peppers (i made sure to dice the jalapenos up reallllllllllly tiny... i hate getting a bite of pepper that is a little too big. because my tolerance for heat is basically non-existent.) last of all, add in cabbage - it doesn't take long to cook. remove from heat and add tomatoes. i didn't want them really cooked, and i knew that they would get cooked more in the oven. 

stuff the filling mixture into the hollowed-out peppers, using a spoon to press the mixture down so it's tightly packed into the pepper shell. the recipe we found didn't say that we needed to pre-cook the peppers... i was hungry anyway. and when i'm hungry, the lazy, speedy way is the ONLY way. (we actually saved the extra "stuffing" and had in the next day in an omlette... also a BIG success.) 

bake peppers for 30(ish) minutes, then remove from oven and put a generous pinch of grated mozzarella on top of each pepper. put peppers back into the oven and bake about 10-15 minutes more, until cheese is melted and lightly browned. serve hot.

believe me... this was good. and super healthy! 

:)

a random side-note:

one of my roommates is our cousin - who is currently taking a culinary fundamentals class... i'm sure she comes home every day and is mentally making notes on how not to cook. just take a look at jess, and don't do any of these things. but oh, what fun we have in the kitchen!!!

and just for kicks and giggles.

how i feel today. 
(minus a few of the less-than-honor-code-approved behaviors.) 

--------------------------

i haven't been thankful in a while.

today i am thankful for sweat pants.

after running around in a skirt all day, i love the feeling that you get when you can just sit down in the sweats and not have to sit all prim-and-proper anymore! 

hellllllo unladylike behavior!

(just kidding...)

and belts.

that come to the rescue when:

pants are too big.

shirts are too baggy.

you lose your backpack.

don't tell me you never fantasized about carrying your books to school with a belt.

maybe it was just me...

reading and grilled cheese. two of my favs.

i really think that i had forgotten how hard {wednesdays} were.
today has been brutal! (good luck i don't have a lot of homework or i would be pretty much toast...)

i know i talked about the soul-searching aspect that always seems to accompany the beginning of each new semester, but some people can say it so much better than i can.

pictures from 365q.ca

so i am a pretty big quote geek. back at home, i have quote books from high school, i copy quotes and keep them on my computer, i type them in my phone and send them to myself so that i don't forget them... i love reading what people that are much wiser than me have to say about the world.
the last quote has always confused me. not that i didn't understand what it was supposed to mean, i knew what it was saying, i just didn't get it. i do now. having lived in a different country for even three months - leaving my family, having to fend for myself (ie not blow all the money that i had), meeting tons of new people was all part of an amazing adventure.
but coming home was special.
i don't know if i can quite explain it adequately, but it was an eye-opening experience to come home and see how blessed i am. and how often i take all of those blessings for granted.
like going for a walk by myself.
wearing shorts.
sitting on the grass under a crystal clear sky.
hearing my younger brothers fight. because i am with my family.
having to run errands for my mom, but getting to drive around in my car.
cooking!
sharing my beliefs with others.
having so many clothes that i don't know what to do with them anymore...


on another note, i read something really cool from this awesome blog - i love reading it... it always makes me laugh.
it also made me feel justified in bringing home six books from the library today... (i have no idea when i'm going to read them - but don't judge me! i couldn't put them back!!!)

-------------------

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but...she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.


***
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
***
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.
-- Rosemary Urquico

:)

and it this weren't random enough already, we have to speak of food! the world would probably explode if i didn't...
this looks pretty much like the ultimate in grilled cheese.
i can almost feel my arteries clogging up looking at it, but it looks so good! 

and finally! 

a homemade solar oven to cook s'mores. 

{genius.}

motivation where art thou?

motivation is nil today.

so instead of doing homework and being a studious person (which is probably better because i have three papers due by saturday... but i have all day tomorrow to write them, so no worries! at least not until saturday afternoon...) i have been sitting on my couch doing nothing. and i mean pretty much literally nothing.

well, i made some tomato soup.

been there. done that.

i did discover this website though... so far it has been fairly entertaining.

and i have also become obsessed with http://pinterest.com/... not that i have my own account, but i could really spend days looking through profiles.

and if you are really looking for a way to waste time... um... i mean get good ideas... check out http://craftgawker.com/. or better yet http://foodgawker.com/. i can't get on without ending up baking something.

so you want to know why there have been no new pictures lately?

my camera appears to have gotten itself lost. again.

i think it is a sign for jess to go and get herself a new camera.

waddya think?

and finally - for the grand finale of my day of doing absolutely nothing productive (ok, you gotta understand that i did actually go to class, take a test, and finished all of my homework for my understanding DNA class...) i visited my best friend youtube.

after last night, i wanted to watch more of garrett sherwood. (the guy that helped come up with deep love? yeah, i'm kinda in love.)

and this was another one of the contestants from last poet standing a couple of weeks ago. skyler didn't win, but i really liked his style. and i really liked this poem. :) it kind of reminded me of that george strait song, "check yes or no."

so to my future someone: love me like we're in second grade.

and just for the heck of it. (speaking of future "someones")

i think i've decided what i want to make tonight.

curse you foodgawker!

peanut butter cup cupcakes

(photo from http://www.mybakingaddiction.com/peanut-butter-cup-cupcakes/)

for the cupcakes

ingredients

1 (18.25 ounce) package devil’s food cake mix

1 (5.9 ounce) package instant chocolate pudding mix

1 cup sour cream

1 cup vegetable oil

4 eggs, lightly beaten

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1 tablespoon instant espresso granules dissolved in 1/2 cup warm water

24 reese’s miniatures; frozen (this prevents them from disappearing into the batter)

directions

1. preheat oven to 350 degrees F. line muffin tin with paper liners or spray with non-stick cooking spray.

2. in the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, beat together the cake and pudding mixes, sour cream, oil, eggs, vanilla and espresso water mixture. beat for about two minutes on medium speed until well combined.

3. using a large cookie scoop, distribute the batter between 24 muffin wells; about 3 tablespoons of batter per well. press one frozen reese’s miniature into the center of each cupcake.

4. bake in preheated oven for 18-22 minutes or until the tops of the cakes spring back when lightly touched. there will be a small sink hole in the top of the cupcakes from the reese’s miniatures, that’s okay – you’ll cover that with frosting. allow cupcakes to cool inside muffin tins for about 10 minutes.

5. remove cupcakes from muffin tins and allow to fully cool on a wire rack. once cupcakes are cool, prepare your frosting.

for the peanut butter buttercream frosting

ingredients

3 sticks unsalted butter, softened

1 cup creamy peanut butter

2 tablespoons vanilla extract

2 pounds confectioners’ sugar, sifted

6-8 tablespoons heavy cream (if using milk, amount will be less)

directions

1. in the bowl of a stand mixer, fitted with the paddle attachment, or with a hand mixer in a large bowl, cream butter and peanut butter on medium speed until fluffy. turn your mixer down to low speed and slowly add in the confectioner’s sugar, and continue mixing until well blended.

2. add vanilla and 4 tablespoons of heavy cream. blend on low speed until moistened. add an additional 1 to 4 tablespoons of heavy cream until you reach the desired consistency. beat at high speed until frosting is smooth and fluffy

3. pipe frosting onto cooled cupcakes and finish with chopped reese’s peanut butter cups.

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i am grateful for a phone call from a friend.

that lets me know that she still loves me.

i'm going to pass this one on.

lazy days

so you don't get much of a post today...

i have this overwhelming feeling of apathy and i am sooooo unmotivated to do anything..........

it's kind of depressing.

so searching the internet for a mood-booster, i found this gem.

i just have to say thank you to whoever wrote this.

thank you thank you thank you!

from letters i'll never send:

you.

you. yes, you. i am writing this for you.

i know you are reading this. and i want you to know i am writing this for you. no one else will understand. no one else knows. they think that this is for them. but it’s not. i am writing this for you.

i want you to know, life…it’s hard. every day can be a challenge. it can be a challenge to get up in the morning. to get yourself out of bed. to put on that smile. but I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. you need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. you really are.

you should be happy. you are gorgeous.

i know that the weather might not be perfect. you might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. but you know what, at least you are there to feel it. at least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. or that cold february wind biting at your cheeks. you know what that means?

you are alive.

everything will be okay.

pretty cool huh? i love reading other people's writings. i think it helps me write better.

and this little ditty is a pretty accurate description of today too.

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what am i grateful for?

cookbooks, ben and jerry's phish food, chocolate licorice, falafel...

fat day anyone???